Coping 101

The word of the week for me is COPING. In fact it's back to basics Copying with Depression 101, if you will. Last night, I melted down in epic style, complete with crying and screaming. As I laid they in my bed thinking how I wished I could just disappear, I realized that I have gotten comfortable in my depression.

That sounds crazy, right?

How can anyone find that state of mind comfortable? Depression for me has become like an ex lover. I know it is not a health place to be, but there is something familiar and comfortable about it. But anyone who has lived with depression knows, that once it has a foothold in your life, it will begin to creep into all aspects of your life. You begin looking at the world through the lens of hopelessness and unhappiness. It is so sly, that I often don't see that I am wearing "depression glasses", until I am down so low that it begins to affect me physically, or in a very obvious way. IE-last night's melt down.

So, as I laid there feeling like I could NOT do this any more, I realized that I needed to fight back. That I had gotten lazy in combating this trick that my brain plays on me that makes me think everything is horrible.

Dealing with depression is truly a fight, and I had been going to counseling and taking my medications, but I was not fighting much.

I began to make a list in my mind of all the things I have done to cope in the past: writing, art, meditation, exercise, counting my blessings, reading, listening to good music, talking to or visiting friends.

I started a new art project yesterday, at the urging of a friend, I began reintroducing myself the The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, I am blogging today, I have counseling this week, and I am going to plan a walk this week.

I am also going to spend time this week counting my gratitude, and focusing on the things in my life that make me happy. I am pulling out ALL the coping skills I have used in the past, but became passive about continuing to use.It is time to dust off the boxing gloves and begin to empower myself again.

The idea of dealing with these awful feelings for the rest of my life can overwhelm me, and the idea that it is something in my brain, and not something I can change, can make me feel helpless. The truth is, I can not change my diagnosis, but I can treat the symptoms, just like you can with every other medical condition. You can keep it from taking over your life, and you can find happiness mixed in with the cloudy days.